Abstinence
Contents:
What is abstinence?
Abstinence means not having sex. Data from a 2006 survey show that 34% of Cal students
had no sexual partners in the previous school year. You may abstain from certain sexual acts and not
others. For ideas about how to be intimate with a partner while
staying abstinent, read about
"outercourse". You may abstain for a day, a week,
or a year - even if you have been sexually active in the past.
Being abstinent can also mean waiting to choose the right person,
time, and circumstances to be sexual.
Choosing the right person:
You may have certain standards about a person with whom you would
consider having sex. You might want to have respect, trust, or
love before having sex.
Choosing the right time:
Perhaps school is too stressful, you're still dealing with a bad
break-up, or you're just not ready for a variety of personal reasons.
Choosing the right circumstances:
Are you under the influence of alcohol and aren't sure about how
far you want to go? Do you want sex to be in the context of a
defined relationship?
Why do people choose abstinence?
People abstain from sex for many reasons - even after they've
been sexually active. Some of these reasons include:
-
waiting until they're ready
-
focusing on academics and other activities
-
waiting to find the "right" partner
-
preventing pregnancy and STIs
-
getting over a breakup
-
supporting personal, cultural, or religious values
If you decide to be abstinent, think about the reasons for your
decision. Plan ahead so you know how you'll handle potentially
tricky situations. Remember that alcohol and other drugs can impair
your judgment. Try to find supportive people in your life to talk
to about your decision. Think about how you might talk to a current
or future partner about your decision.
Finally, don't reevaluate your decision to be abstinent when
you're in a sexual situation. Wait until later, when you
can think about it with a clear head. When you do choose to stop
being abstinent, be sure that you know how to protect yourself
from STIs and unintended
pregnancy.
Related services at the Tang Center
For Students
- Sexual
Health Education Program (SHEP).
- Any Cal student can make an appointment to see a trained
peer educator to talk about a variety of sexual health
issues. Partners are also welcome to attend. Call (510)
642-2000.
- Peer educators are available to lead workshops about
sexuality for your living center, class, or student
group. You can request
a workshop online.
For Students, Faculty and Staff
Additional online resources
Alternatives
to Sex: Outercourse
Information about "outercourse" options for sexual activity,
for people who choose not to have sexual intercourse (affiliated
with Planned Parenthood).
Go
Ask Alice
Non-judgmental Q&A website for college students, on topics
including sexual health, sexuality, relationships, and much more
(affiliated with Columbia University).
Disclaimer: The information provided here is not intended to
diagnose, treat or provide a second opinion on any health problem
or disease. It is meant to support, not replace, the relationship
that exists between an individual and his/her clinician.
Last revised: April 2008
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